Twas The NYRD Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through The NYRD
Not a person was typing, not even a word.
The stockings were posted on Facebook with flair,
In hopes of getting Comments, Likes, or a Share.

One writer was nestled all snug in his cube,
While fighting with permissions on fraking Youtube.
How that man fretted and why he was bitter,
Because all were now gone and he was on Twitter.

When out in the hallway there arose such a bam,
Todd left from his seat and a half done Instagram.
Away to the door he flew like a stumbler,
When he realized he’d forgotten to post on Tumblr.

The moon through the window on the new-fallen Todd
Gave the hall a strange light where so often he’d trod.
Then, what to his wondering eyes should appear,
But an old janitor, standing uncomfortably near.

With a little old nametag, so faded and slick,
It took Todd a moment to read it said “Nick.”
Like Gandalf the Grey he frowned with a wink,
And put down his mop in the nearby sink.

“Stop dashing, and dancing, and prancing. I waxed.
No comments, you’re stupid and dimmer and laxed!
To top it all off! And on top of it all!
Your face is just ugly like you ran into a wall!”

“That’s hurtful,” said Todd as he stood from the ground,
“I was working alone when I heard a great sound.
I thought it might be a man, both jolly and fat,
But I see I was wrong. I guess it’s back to SnapChat.”

“Wait,” he said, with a twinkling in his eye
Then he rubbed his face hard, muttering, “stupid fly.”
“I did not mean to cause you that slight,”
“I’m just cranky, having to work on Christmas night.”

He was dressed in coveralls, with a body not fit,
And his clothes were all tarnished from ashes and… stuff.
A bundle of rags he had flung in his cart,
And he looked like a hobo, you’d see in Central Park.

His eyes were all wrinkled! His dimples were jello!
He might have had jaundice, his nose was very yellow!
His droll little smile appeared like a thief,
And through the gap Todd could see his missing teeth.

The stump of a cigar still lit with a shine,
In blatant disregard of the “no smoking” sign.
He had a blunt face and a little round mole,
With a single little hair, that was darker than coal!

He looked underfed, a right twig of a man,
And Todd pitied him, as much anyone can.
A wink of his left eye, it might have been glass,
Soon let Todd know that it was time to haul ass.

As he turned to go, he stopped his flight,
And offered his hand, with a half-eaten delight.
And using stubby fingers to rub both of his eyes,
And giving a nod, the janitor snatched up the prize!

He sprang to his cart, with the sandwich of cheese,
And away he walked with the jingling of keys.
But Todd heard him exclaim, ‘Merry Christmas to you,”
“Thanks,” Todd replied, “But I’m actually a Jew!”

Todd and the rest of the NYRD crew will be off for the next week. We will see you all in 2016. Remember to stay NYRDy and have a great holiday season.

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