Trump and a Trail of Torn Paper


So, we know… Its 2109, and its a new year. The government was shutdown for more than a month and so we were thinking that maybe its time for all of us to get back to work as well. But does that mean that we have to start the year off with Trump? Well, yes, but also there is something that has been bothering us, and we’re not talking about the racism, or the sexism, or the multiple investigations, or the obvious corruption, or any of that… though we kind of are. Let us explain.

Donald “the Donald” Trump has an unthinking tendency to destroy papers. This is not us being flippant, it has been well documented. Sure, there is the story in Omarosa Manigault Newman’s book, about that time she caught him eating paper, which is weird. Quite frankly, it seems like the sort of thing an out-of-work reality star might make up about another out-of-work reality star. Maybe if this was the only instance of this happening, we could call it a fluke or a lie, but here’s the thing…

ACIt’s not the only time. According to several sources, Donald Trump’s initial instinct after reading almost any letter or document is to rip it, sometimes into “tiny pieces.” It is worth mentioning that this behavior for a President is illegal. According to the Presidential Records Act all official and unofficial documents touched by the President of the United States are required to be preserved. There is a literal office of government workers set aside who handle this. It is a rule that was put into place in 1978, as a direct result of… yeah you guessed it… Richard Nixon.

You see, Nixon’s refusal to hand over his tapes during the Watergate scandal, and that was not illegal. He claimed Executive Privilege, and there was nothing the Congress could do about it. The Supreme Court ultimately disagreed in a unanimous decision, and forced the President to hand over the tapes, which led to his resignation. Now, we are not saying that Trump is hiding anything by ripping up his memos, letters from Chuck Schumer, or almost anything else that crosses his desk… We’re just commenting that it is very odd behavior.

We handle papers all day, and our first instinct is not to rip them up. -Mostly they just pile up until the stacks are big enough to have sled races down- However, Trump, for more than two years, has been forcing government employees -some make 60,000+ dollars a year- to painstakingly spend their days using scotch tape and jigsaw skills to recreate mundane memos and official letters just because he wants to act like a three year old making confetti.

We made a very astute observation just now, by pointing out the President’s resemblance to a toddler, but do you know who else rips up papers after they are done reading them… criminals… -also Russian spies, but we don’t want to go down that route- We are not calling Trump a criminal, or a fraud, or a man who has made his money over the years criminally defrauding people, investors, renters, the IRS, etc… but ripping up papers as your first unthinking step to “filing them” does raise some eyebrows.

This has been our first post of the year. Is it funny? Maybe in an existential-I-want-to-cry sort of way, but it has been bothering us… We promise we will try and be funnier in the futre… It’s getting harder and harder.


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